When I named my blog, it didn’t take long. My life was, and is, full of love. Love of family, friends, fashion, food, writing. Lately I haven’t been giving love a very good name. Sadness has taken over the pages of my blog, and my life. I realize the dichotomy. It’s funny how you turn to writing down your deepest emotions and the tragic tales of your life when it all goes to shit. It reminds me of people who turn to God in times of turmoil.

To heal a broken heart you can’t forget to celebrate the good, the happy, the moments and the people that make you laugh. Don’t get me wrong, you also have to acknowledge the negative that is coursing through your body. But it’s a balance. And sooner or later happiness begins to tip the scale. As you emerge from the fog you come out a different person. You may look and sound the same (you may not), but inside you’re wearing your battle scars, your burns and cuts. And that’s okay. That means you made it and you fought hard.

As I forge my way through the muck, slowly making my way back to the person I recognize, it feels a bit like Wonderland. The excitement in the beginning, the rush, things you’ve never experienced before or even thought were possible, then things start to change. Everyday things somehow look and feel different. You look and feel different. And before you know it the Queen of Hearts is trying to chop off your head. And some days it may seem like she succeeded.

But the thing about Wonderland is, you can get out. You can climb your way back to real life. And when you do, you realize Wonderland wasn’t all good or all bad. It was the best and worst of you. I’ll look back at my Wonderland with a sense of realism it never had before… And I’ll smile.