As in control as I feel is as out of control as I feel.

All anyone wants out of life is happiness. Something so greatly desired across continents, cultures, societies, but so hard to define. I’m not sure I could even say what pure lasting happiness would mean to me.

That’s just it. Happiness grows and changes as much as we do. Priorities change, life evolves, and needs, although fundamental, take on different roles in our lives as we age.

But I do think there are some universal truths to creating happiness:

Being accepted for who you are.
Being appreciated.
Being loved.
Being included.

Strike a balance and you discover ecstasy, strike an imbalance and you reach great depths of despair.

Many people don’t understand this see-saw. Why the pain and suffering? There are philosophies, religions, and all kinds of ideas and opinions that do their part in explaining this dichotomy.

To me the answer lies in my Buddhist teachings. Heaven and hell exist here, on Earth. Think about the last time you were the happiest you can remember. It was heaven, right? Pure joy, peace. Now think of the last time in life you struggled. A time when you felt the deepest loss, the biggest hole, loneliness filling you from the inside out. That’s hell. Painful and torturous. But you learned from both experiences. Whether lasting years or minutes. You learned.

Life is a classroom. We succeed and we fail. We live. We are only human. Capable of so much more than our bodies allow. Trapped by the confines of our brains telling us what we can and cannot do.

Regardless of your beliefs, your philosophies, your religion, one thing is clear; you can never have one without the other. The happy and the sad. The beautiful and the ugly. The control and the out of control.

The trick is finding the harmony in the discord.